


when the silence gets too loud

by orphan_account



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Action/Adventure, Childhood Friends, Drama & Romance, First Kiss, First Love, Friends to Lovers, Insecurity, Jealousy, M/M, Mutant Powers, Mutant Rights, Mutual Pining, Overprotective, Running Away
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-05
Updated: 2018-02-23
Packaged: 2019-03-13 21:22:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13579191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: He looked down at Kenma, pulling away from him slightly and his stomach clenched at the sight of his tear stained cheeks.He knew then that he’d do anything to protect Kenma Kozume. No matter how many secrets he had to keep.





	1. prologue

**Author's Note:**

> hello!  
> i've liked haikyuu since like eight grade but i've never written anything about it..  
> so i squished together two of my favourite things!!  
> haikyuu and mutants!!  
> get ready for angst and hard times!! 
> 
> ps. i have loved kenma for nearly five years he owns my entire heart  
> pps. pls comment n leave kudos!! it rlly motivates me!!
> 
> enjoy!!

Kenma Kozume was always with Tetsurou Kuroo. They were inseparable since the moment they met. A quiet autumn afternoon where they were nine years old and only had each other to talk to. Kenma had moved into the house next door with his single mother and soon went to the same school. Kenma had always been quiet, always been self-conscious. Kuroo was the most persistent person he’s ever met. Kenma began depending on Kuroo for many things at a young age. Kenma liked being taken care of and Kuroo liked to take of people.

They went to the same middle school, and the same high school. Kuroo was good at talking to others, he was well-liked and he was taking courses higher than his grade level. Kenma didn’t talk to anyone other than Kuroo, he was too worried about others opinions and the only special thing about him was his observation skills. Kenma noticed everything, but kept to himself.

The world was not as simple as it seemed. It was not just waking up, walking to school together, studying in the library and then walking home in time for dinner. Everynight on the news there were reports of dangerous humans known as mutants. The mutants would terrorize the normal civilians, they would steal, kidnap, injure and stalk. Kenma was warned to never go anywhere alone, his mother texted him often to check where he was and he wasn’t allowed out after 7pm.

The mutants were dangerous criminals that were crimes against nature. Most people called them monsters, or freaks, or demons. Kenma had never seen a mutant his entire life. For the longest time he thought it was a myth to scare children into following their parent’s rules and do well in school. He didn’t care much, he wasn’t worried about something that wasn’t real.

Kuroo never brought it up. If Kuroo didn’t warn him about it, it couldn’t be real. The boy who was so dedicated to protecting his closest friend wouldn’t keep something like that from him. Mutants couldn’t be real. Kenma believed that for the first fourteen years of his life.

—

Just days after Kuroo’s sixteenth birthday, the entire city had been put on lockdown. The sirens blared throughout the streets, and mobs of people ran into buildings and stores. Kenma froze in his spot, walking home from school with his best friend. He felt himself break into a cold sweat, his knees buckling and his eyes widening in fear.

“Kenma, don’t worry.” Kuroo grabbed onto the younger boy’s hand, squeezing it tightly and looking down into his eyes. It was hard to do something just because you were told. Kenma looked up at him, swallowed the lump in his throat and firmly grasped his hand.

Kuroo pulled him through the street, watching with steady eyes as the stores slammed their doors shut and turned off their lights. He cursed under his breath, looking over his shoulder at his best friend who was running with his eyes closed. He felt his palm get clammy in his grip, and he gritted his teeth together. Kenma was depending on him. He couldn’t just leave him out in the open, he had to lead him somewhere safe.

“Don’t make a sound.” Kuroo whispered, pulling Kenma into an alleyway and quickly shoving him to the ground behind the dumpster. Kenma held his breath, wincing slightly at the pain coursing through his tailbone. When Kenma’s eyes focused, he grabbed onto Kuroo’s sweater and tried to pull him beside him. Kuroo was shielding Kenma with his body, his hands pressed against the brick wall and his eyes watching Kenma carefully.

Kenma felt himself begin to shake, never ceasing the effort to bring Kuroo into safety. The city was filled with sirens, warning the citizens over and over. Kuroo shifted slightly, pushing himself closer to Kenma and waiting patiently. The city was silent besides the cries through the speakers. Kenma swallowed back his tears, pressing his hands into Kuroo harder and sliding a bit further down the wall.

Suddenly, a heavy metal door was thrown across the alleyway no more than forty feet away from them. Kenma let out a squeak, bringing a hand up to his mouth and covering it tightly. Kuroo pushed closer into him, looking down the alleyway. His blood ran cold. A woman wearing a cloak over herself was holding a swaddled baby against her chest. The door appeared to have been torn from the hinges, it was impossible such a fragile looking woman with child could have done that. She began to run their way, making eye contact with Kuroo and skidding to a stop.

She held her baby closer to her chest. Kuroo stiffened and cradled Kenma’s head against his chest. The woman stared at him for a moment, taking a shaky breath. Her eyes shook, they were so empty and lost. Kuroo frowned deeply. He could see the desperation, the raw terror in her expression.

He understood now. She was the reason for the lockdown, if she didn’t get away from the city her and her child would be killed. Kuroo hugged Kenma against him, hoping he wouldn’t see the brief exchange.

He nodded at the woman, putting a finger to his lips. She smiled softly, sniffling as she adjusted the hold on her baby and nodded towards him. Kuroo understood. She was a mutant but just like him she had something to protect. She didn’t deserve to die for being who she was. Kuroo watched as she sprinted down the alleyway away from them. He looked down at Kenma, pulling away from him slightly and his stomach clenched at the sight of his tear stained cheeks.

He knew then that he’d do anything to protect Kenma Kozume. No matter how many secrets he had to keep.

—

  
The Christmas following Kenma’s sixteenth birthday was the first time he noticed something was strange. His mind was getting a little loud. He could hear too much even in the silence. He heard Kuroo and his family talking before they even came over to their house. Kenma brushed it off as the walls being too thin. When he was getting changed and went down the stairs he could hear children talking outside. At least he thought it was outside. He looked out the kitchen window as he did the dishes, and he frowned. Nobody was there.

Kenma spent the whole day hearing things and not seeing them. At one point he heard Kuroo’s favourite song on the piano when he was laying down and he felt as though he was in the clouds. Out of all the voices he’s heard today, he heard Kuroo’s the most. Maybe it was a sign from a higher power. Maybe he just missed Kuroo. They hadn’t seen each other for almost a week. Kuroo had extracurricular activities and Kenma had to help his mother with housework due to her bad knees.

The doorbell rang, and Kenma was up on his feet in seconds. He tucked away his 3DS into his school bag and padded his way to the door. He caught a glance of his mother in the kitchen, keeping a close eye on the pots on the stove and plating food. Kenma smiled, gently, and warmly.

His mother was his favourite person in the world. She had done nothing but love and care for him, she had taught him everything he knew. Her voice singing him to sleep as a child was the brightest memory he’d had through his childhood. When his father left, his mother had worked twice as hard for them and hadn’t neglected him once. His mother was his everything.

Throwing the door open, Kenma smiled softly at the sight of Kuroo and his parents standing there with presents in their arms. Kenma stepped aside, welcoming them and bowing gently when Kuroo’s mother ruffled his long blonde hair. Kuroo affectionately called him pudding head and dropped a small blue box into his hands. Kuroo’s father asked him about his mother’s condition and Kenma happily told him she was getting better each day.

As their mothers began to talk in the kitchen and Kuroo’s father watched the television, Kuroo and Kenma were sitting in the hallway. Kuroo was talking absentmindedly about the past few days he’s spent in the school clubs and testing them all out, but Kenma wasn’t listening at all. He shuffled the box from hand to hand as Kuroo spoke, but his words were getting jumbled together and he could hear the sound of his mother’s humming. His head hurt, between hearing Kuroo speaking over himself and the sudden sound of his father.

“Kenma?” Kuroo poked at him with his foot, causing the blonde boy to jolt and look over at him. His lips weren’t moving but he could hear him mumbling. Kenma furrowed his brows, and he sat up with his back pressed against the wall. “What’s with that look?” Kuroo scooted across the hallway, sitting cross legged and letting his knees bump into Kenma.

“What look?” Kenma whispered, setting the box down beside him and crossing his arms. The taller boy leaned forward and settled his hand on Kenma’s knee. Letting his shoulders fall in a sigh, Kenma stuck his leg out and let it rest on Kuroo’s lap.

“You look zoned out… disoriented.” Kuroo explained quietly, eyes wandering over to the giftbox and sigh leaving his lips. “How about you open your present? Would that cheer you up?” He watched as Kenma took the box into his hands again and began to trace the gift wrap with his thin fingers.

“I am… disoriented…” Kenma mumbled, pulling at the tape and carefully unwrapping it. “My head hurts a lot… not the usual way…” He took the wrapping paper off the box and set it down beside him. “There’s a lot of pressure, my head wants to explode.” Kenma looked up at Kuroo, saw the way he was nervously playing with his fingers and he stared down at the box. “I keep hearing you in my head.”

“Me?” Kuroo curled his toes slightly, looking at Kenma and nibbling at his bottom lip. It was weird to see Kuroo so nervous. It was almost a little nice, he was usually so content and confident in himself. He’s never seen Kuroo so shaken.

“Yeah, you. Mumbling and stuff, I even heard that song you like.” Kenma took the top off of the box and stared at the game cartridge sitting there. He snorted softly, smiling up at Kuroo and feeling his cheeks warm up. “You preordered, idiot.” Kenma of all people knew how much money it was, and he’d wanted the game since it was announced.

“Song?” Kuroo repeated, eyes following Kenma’s as he picked up the game and inspected it carefully. He looked down into the box again and Kenma’s heart skipped a beat. A sparkling charm hung from a thin chain, and Kenma felt his cheeks heat up. He tried to hide in his shirt, his bangs hiding his face. “Hey, don’t hide from me.” Kuroo leaned close, running his fingers through his hair and pushing it away from his eyes. He felt his own cheeks get red, and he chuckled.

“The stupid piano song.” He lifted up the necklace and inspected the pendant hanging from it. The silver and amber caduceus shimmered in the dim light of the hallway, and Kenma held it against his neck. “Stupidly pretty necklace.” Kenma inched closer to Kuroo and smiled when Kuroo took the chain from his hands.

“That’s weird… I was thinking about it earlier.” Kuroo brushed hair away from the nape of his neck as Kenma pulled his hair aside as Kuroo reached around him. “The gem at the top reminded me of your eyes.” He cleared his throat as he attached the chain and sat back down across the hall from him. “If that’s the kind of thing you say to your best friend.” Kuroo scratched at the back of his head, averting his eyes.

“It’s the kind of thing you say to me.” Kenma let his hair fall back around his neck and hummed softly at the feeling of the cool metal against his skin. “Don’t censor yourself around me.”

—

During dinner, Kenma’s head felt more full than his stomach. He ate slowly, trying to focus on the small talk at the table. His mother was talking but then she was worrying but when he looked at her she was smiling and not at all muttering about the pain in her leg. Kuroo was quiet but he could hear the occasional comment which only confused Kenma more. Kuroo’s parents were keeping a lively conversation but he could hear their voices talking about schedules and the warm taste of the food.

Shifting in his seat, Kenma swallowed the lump in his throat and took a long sip of water. The voices wouldn’t go away. He shut his eyes tightly and turned his head down towards the table. For a second he heard Kuroo’s voice quietly in his head.

“Brain Freeze?” It said.

“I wish.” Kenma thought.

Silverware dropped to the floor and Kenma looked up quickly at Kuroo who was staring at him with wide eyes. Kenma blinked a few times, watching him lean down and grab his fork. Kuroo cleared his throat, apologizing under his breath and continuing to eat hesitantly.

Kenma ate a few more bites of food as their parents began talking about the record snowfall, keeping to himself as the adults spoke about the lack of cold and never ending snow. He looked at Kuroo who was slowly eating his food and staring interestedly at his glass of water.

“Snow is so interesting, I wish the fork stabbed me on the way down.”

Kenma laughed quietly, and Kuroo looked up at him. Kenma’s mother glanced at her son and blinked a few times. Smiling gently, she raised an eyebrow and pressed her hand against his.

“Dear what’s so funny?” She spoke quietly, and suddenly Kenma was very aware of the four sets of eyes on him and he began to nervously shake his leg. He looked at Kuroo hesitantly, clearing his throat and nodding toward him.

“Kuro said something funny…”

  
“I did?” Kuroo spoke softly, before abruptly standing from his spot and making a sound of acknowledgement. He bowed softly towards the adults and motioned for Kenma to follow him. “I did. If you’ll excuse me I really have to talk to Kenma.”

Kuroo smiled awkwardly as Kenma was excused from the table and slowly wandered over to him. Kuroo grabbed his wrist and began pulling him towards the staircase.

“Kuro I’m going to slip…” Kenma squeaked as Kuroo rushed up the stairs dragging him along. He still had no idea what was going on and Kuroo was moving so quickly that Kenma stubbed his toe on two different stairs and skipped one.

“Sorry, I really need to talk.” Kuroo pulled him around the corner and into Kenma’s room. He closed the door quickly and spun around so fast that Kenma was thrown onto his bed and he choked on his spit as Kuroo sat down on the bed beside him and grabbed onto his shoulders.

“Kuro you’re scaring me.” Kenma mumbled, frowning as the other boy looked him up and down while taking a long breath. “Kinda hurting me too.” Kenma shrugged his shoulders out of his grip and Kuroo let go slightly, shaking out his hands quickly and nodding.

“I’m so sorry but Kenma, God, Kenma.” He caught his breath and then leaned closer. “You heard me and I heard you.” He watched as the blonde’s expression morphed into one past confusion, and Kuroo groaned gently. “What I mean is I heard you in my head Kenma. I heard you in my mind.” Kuroo was speaking even quieter now, and Kenma felt himself break into a cold sweat. “You heard me in your head too right? Kenma you know what this means…”

“Don’t say it, please don’t.” Kenma felt himself begin to shake, his lips quivering and his heart racing in his chest. He pressed his hands against his chest and struggled to calm himself down. Kuroo took a hold of his hand, Kenma shook his head and closed his eyes. “I’m scared.”

His hand felt warmer in his grip. Then a little warmer than that. Kenma shakily exhaled, he opened his eyes and looked into Kuroo’s eyes. They reflected a bright red, and Kenma blinked tears out of his eyes. Looking down at their connected hands he looked at the flames coming from Kuroo’s palm and slowly encompassing his own hand.

“Don’t be scared Kenma.”

He looked into the fire, and he looked into Kuroo’s eyes one more time. He felt a bead of sweat trail down the back of his neck, and he nodded very slowly. He couldn’t be scared. Not of Kuroo. Not of the person who made the silence comfortable.


	2. for the best

The sun went away too quickly in the winter. If you blinked she would leave the sky and darkness would swallow the world whole. By the time Kenma and Kuroo took the train and walked from the station to their homes, the sun was setting.

Today Kenma was alone. Kuroo was involved in club activities. He was a senior and he wanted to make his last year really count. He tried out almost every club. Kuroo seemed to be very interested in literature club and volleyball. Kenma listened to him eagerly talking about how exciting playing was, but he didn’t see the appeal.

Kenma took the long way home, purposely wandering by the local hospital. His mother had a minor surgery for her left knee, she had been resting there a few days just to be safe. He knew if she went home she’d want to get started on chores and overworking herself. He never went into the hospital, scared his mother would ask about what he’s been up to and he’d never have any interesting stories to tell her.

Now that Kenma was 17, he’d known of his powers for almost a year. He’d practiced with them a lot, his guinea pig was the only other mutant he knew, Kuroo. He could control the voices now, he could turn them off and on like a light. If he really wanted to he could manipulate people into doing things, implanting his thoughts of the actions into their heads. He’s only ever used it to get Kuroo to make the bed. With his powers came Kenma’s greater understanding of humans. He understood why people acted certain ways and knew true intentions. It sometimes felt he had too much power.

Kenma sat down on a bench outside the hospital, looking around at the frost covered flowers around him. His mother was a couple floors above him, but the better he knew a person, the better he could hear them. He closed his eyes, tilting back his head and focusing on his mother.

“When I get out of here I’m getting a phone, I miss my son. I wonder how he’s doing. I wonder if he’s nervous about graduating next year, I wonder if he’s nervous about Tetsurou graduating this year. Oh Kenma, I hope he’s not lonely… I’ll make him a big apple pie when I come home, that’ll be nice… let’s see, fresh apples, some cinnamon…”

Kenma stopped listening. He swallowed the lump in his throat and brought a hand up. He pressed a cold hand against his shirt, pushing against the necklace hidden underneath it. Kenma shivered, the metal even colder than the weather. Nervous about Kuroo leaving him? It’s not like they had classes together or he couldn’t go to school without him.

Maybe it wouldn’t be as fun to go to school with no friends. A life without Kuroo. Kenma looked down, blinking quickly and pulling his cellphone out of his pocket. His eyes focused on the notifications filling his screen. Most were from his games, his stamina has refilled and he had to redeem tokens before it was too late. Kenma saw the one text message from his best friend and warmth radiated from his chest out.

“Coming home late, wait up?” Kenma read aloud, burying his face against the dark red fabric of his scarf and stomping his feet a few times. Ever since his mother was admitted into the hospital Kuroo had sort of just let himself into the house. He’d been staying over every night. It’s not like Kenma minded. He’d never get tired of Kuroo.

He texted back a simple “yeah” and stood up from his little spot on the bench. The courtyard of the hospital was empty besides him, nobody was out in the chilly air and he stuck his hands into his pockets. The walk home suddenly became hot at the thought of waiting up for Kuroo, and Kenma speedily walked the rest of the way home.

—

When Kenma got home he kicked off his shoes, grabbed a juice box from the fridge and went straight to his room. He eagerly rushed to his bed and flopped down on top of it, without turning on any lights he relied on the few rays of sun remaining in the day and pulled out his 3DS from under his pillow. Laying on his back, the yellow haired boy turned on the device and smiled softly as he continued his game.

—

“Kenma?” Kuroo walked through the front door, surprised it was left unlocked and Kenma wasn’t in the living room. He locked the door and looked around the silent space. “Did he fall asleep?” He whispered to himself, shrugging off his jacket and tucking his scarf into the sleeve.

Kuroo wandered to the stairs and slowly made his way up. It seemed to be quiet up there too. He summoned a low light of flames, dancing around his shoulders and illuminating the hallway for him. Most of the light that would’ve came into the hall was natural light. It was 9:30PM and it was completely black outside.

“Kenma?” He repeated, knocking at his door and waiting a moment. Kuroo grabbed the doorknob and pushed the door open. Peeking his head into the dark room, he squinted at a glowing rectangle floating above the bed. It took him a second to realize it was Kenma’s DS and that Kenma was playing his game. He hit his hand against the light switch and watching as the room brightened.

Kenma hissed, closing his eyes tightly and dropping his console onto the bed. He complained quietly, mostly muttering and complaining about the fuzzy dots in his vision. Kuroo looked at Kenma’s alarm clock, sighing loudly and patting the younger boy’s hair.

“Sorry you had to wait so long.” Kuroo cooed, and Kenma stopped rubbing at his eyes to look at him. “I know it’s past curfew too, I had to explain myself and notify the police before I could come home. It’s like the whole city is dead after hours.” He watched with careful eyes as Kenma picked up his DS, quietly saved his game and then tucked it away under his pillow again. Kenma crawled closer, sitting in front of Kuroo and leaning slightly towards him.

Kuroo smiled gently, placing his hand onto his head again and softly patting him. Kenma was getting more fond of gentle touches now. He liked to be stroked and pet, he said it made him feel safe. After blushing about it for twelve minutes and giving him a big kiss on the cheek, Kuroo said he’d pet him all he wanted.

“Police?” Kenma sat up properly. “Do you think they realized anything different about you?” He slowly began to comb through his hair. It had gotten tangled as he rolled around the bed while he played games. “You were playing volleyball right?” Kenma popped into Kuroo’s head whenever there was a break, and he was almost always thinking about how much fun he was having. Kenma was fond of the sport just from hearing his best friend be so excited about it.

“I don’t think they knew.” He let out a long breath, as if he’s been keeping it in since the encounter. Kenma leaned over and flopped back onto his bed, eyes closed as he relaxed. “Hey, you can't sleep with an empty stomach.” Kuroo towered over him, hovering over Kenma easily and flicking him in the forehead.

“Ow.” Kenma opened his eyes, looking up into Kuroo’s and frowning softly. His best friend was looking down at him, he couldn’t help but listen his thoughts for a second.

“If you don’t get up I’m going to kiss you.” Kuroo thought, smirking when Kenma’s eyes widened. They knew each other too well. Kuroo anticipated he’d be listening in. Kenma sat up quickly, knocking his forehead into Kuroo’s and quietly crying out in pain.

“Ow! I was kidding!” Kuroo stood up and rubbed at his forehead with his palm. “Just because you hated it that much you didn’t have to attack me.” He put his hand out for Kenma to take and the yellow haired boy took it to hoist himself up.

Kenma stood, letting himself fall into Kuroo’s chest and hum softly. He was warm. Kenma perked up on his tippy toes and kissed Kuroo’s jaw before walking out of the door. As he walked out of his room, he murmured a quiet “I don’t hate it.”

—

Kenma sat at the dining table, wiggling his toes as Kuroo wandered around his kitchen. He only noticed now that all he’s eaten today was some bread during lunch. Kenma’s eyes followed Kuroo who was boiling water and opening up a box of pasta. He felt warm again. What would he do without him? He cared so much about him.

Kenma looked to the right, looking at the television and listening carefully to the news. Ever since he discovered his powers he’s been keeping a close eye on people like him. He had to know when to be careful and when to not go outside completely.

His gaze hardened at the headline running over the bottom of the screen “young mutant found terrorizing local school.” They blurred out the students face, but he recognized the uniform anywhere. Someone from his school had been caught. Without noticing Kenma had brought his necklace up his mouth and let it rest between his lips as he slid the charm along the chain.

The lady spoke about how dangerous the student had been, how vicious and rebellious they were. She said they resisted arrest, running through a neighborhood close to the school and desperately calling for help. Kenma’s stomach churned, he rested his head against the table and listened some more. The student ran for hours, only getting caught when they confided in a local store owner and was turned in. Still the student refused to be taken in peacefully, he raised his hands and they shot in fear he’d attack.

Kenma took a deep breath, calming himself down the best he could. They spoke about the child as if he’d done something wrong. All he’s done is been born. He’d probably lived his whole life in fear. Kenma pressed his lips against his charm and shut his eyes tightly. They murdered a mutant less than a half hour from their home, they murdered someone that went to their school, if Kuroo had been just thirty minutes later he could have been a headline in the news.

Kenma felt sick. So sick that his head was spinning and his mind was rushed with an onslaught of Kuroo’s voice. It wasn’t what he was thinking right now, it was everything he’s said that had ever meant something to Kenma. It was loud, it was gentle, it was layered, yet it sounded like a song. A song that Kenma could listen to make him feel better about the silence.

—

He didn’t notice when the television was turned off. He didn’t notice when the table was set in front of him. He only noticed when a hand was in his hair and another was rubbing down his back. Raising his head Kenma looked at Kuroo and let the necklace fall from his mouth.

“The news never has anything nice to say,” Kuroo murmured, sitting in the chair beside his best friend and glancing down at his necklace. “I promise we’ll be safe.”

“How can you promise such a thing?” Kenma whispered out, not making eye contact with Kuroo as he uneasily shifted.

“We’re always going to be together right?” Kuroo pressed a hand on Kenma’s knee and the younger boy looked up with shaking eyes. “That way I can always protect you. I’d never let anything happen to you.” He squeezed at his knee softly, and Kenma licked at his lips nervously.

“What about you?” He put his hand on top of Kuroo’s, heart racing as it slid a little further down his leg and their fingers slowly intertwined.

“Me?” Kuroo repeated, caught off guard by how hot the air between them had suddenly gotten. He never acted on it though. He held Kenma’s hand tightly and pressed his free hand against the necklace he gave Kenma. “If I’m going to save you I have to be in my best condition. As long as I have you to protect, I’ll definitely protect myself.”

The two boy's sat close to each other for a minute, Kenma blinking away tears and nodding slowly at his response. Kuroo eventually let go of his hand and pulled away from him in favour of scooting closer to the food. Kenma cleared his throat, the heat from his chest never going away and his hands feeling shaky at the feeling of Kuroo’s fingers between them.

“I also...want to protect you.” Kenma whispered under his breath, barely audible. Kuroo was always listening. The older boy smiled brightly, nodding softly and chuckling when Kenma slid his leg closer. They sat with their legs touching, then Kenma hooked one around Kuroo’s calve and Kuroo fondly gazed at him.

Kenma was quietly eating trying to pretend he didn’t just say something so embarrassing. Usually Kuroo would say something like “it’s only me” and Kenma would pout and say “that’s why it’s embarrassing.” Kuroo was very smart, book smart, situationally smart. Quick on his feet. The one thing he wasn’t quick at was feelings.

Since Kenma was twelve he’s been second guessing the feelings he’s felt for Kuroo. At first he thought that’s what having a best friend felt like. When he was fourteen he realized he had a crush on Kuroo, and he thought he was disgusting. Kuroo was his friend, his best friend. Why’d he have to ruin it and want to kiss him? It was gross. Kuroo would probably think that.

Kuroo was always giving him kisses as punishments. Sometimes Kenma would purposely stay in bed minutes longer so he could feel Kuroo press his lips against his cheek. He had to act as though it wasn’t everything he’d wanted for years. He complain, he’d push him away. But his voice would shake and his hands would shake with it.

Kenma was almost always in Kuroo’s head. He never heard him think about him. There wasn’t any love there. They were friends. Kuroo wanted to protect his best friend. Kuroo wanted to protect someone who didn’t have any other friends. He never once thought that Kenma was cute or that he looked the perfect size to hold. Friends don’t do that sort of thing.

—

Kenma went straight to bed after dinner. Kuroo did the dishes, checked the lock on the door and the windows and then went up for the night. When he went into the bedroom, Kenma was fast asleep on top of the covers while wearing his uniform. Kuroo laughed softly, shutting the door and the curtains before turning on the lamp on his bedside table.

Kuroo went into Kenma’s closet and picked out shorts and a plain tee shirt. When he sat on the edge of the bed to change his best friend, he swallowed the lump in his throat and looked at his face. He was sleeping so peacefully, lips parted, hair falling away from his face.

Kuroo took off Kenma’s pants as quickly as he could, ignoring how his heart raced in his chest and how he fumbled with the shorts. He didn’t look much as he slid the shorts onto his body and folded the pants. Clearing his throat, Kuroo pressed his own hands to his face and groaned softly. It was pathetic, having his heart race when Kenma was sleeping cutely in front of him and he was taking care of him.

Kenma would never forgive him if he knew he was having these thoughts. He’d never be able to look him in the eye if he knew he thought like this when he was sleeping. He’d die if Kenma found out he thought he was beautiful and wanted to kiss him on the lips one day.

Kuroo went to take off his shirt when he caught sight of Kenma’s hand curled around something by his chest. Raising an eyebrow Kuroo gently reached over and took his hand in his grip. Unfolding his fingers he saw the familiar glint of his gift to Kenma, and he smiled sadly. He wore it everyday, it’s almost been a year since then.

Kuroo took it from his hand, setting it down on the bedside table and smoothing his hand over Kenma’s thin wrist and against his soft palm. Being able to hold his hand made Kuroo’s eyes misty and his body hotter than his fire ever had.

He calmed down long enough to take off Kenma’s shirt, averting his eyes as he folded it and set it down with the pants. When he finally put his pyjama shirt on, Kuroo sighed softly and glanced over Kenma again. He wanted to protect him. So that one day they could live together like this, and take care of one another. He’s wanted it ever since he was fifteen. Kenma couldn’t ever find out. He’d lose him if he found out Kuroo held back his thoughts all day until he was sleeping. He felt like he was wronging him.

Kuroo changed into something more comfortable and then pulled back the covers so he could help Kenma into the bed. Kuroo carefully picked him up and placed him under the blankets. He then slowly got into bed beside him and kept a fair distance away from his best friend. He turned off the lamp, closed his eyes and turned so his back was facing Kenma.

Kuroo was half asleep when he felt Kenma press against his back, nuzzling his nose against him and wrapping an arm around his chest. Kuroo sleepily reached up, taking a hold of Kenma’s hand and pulling it closer towards him. Slowly, Kuroo turned around, his face towards Kenma. His gaze was blurry, but he swore he saw Kenma’s eyes half open at least for a second.

Kuroo pulled Kenma into his chest, their legs intertwining without them having to try and Kuroo held him close again. These past few days have been everything he’s always wanted. When Kenma was asleep he could be as close as he wanted to him, he could run his fingers through his hair, he could murmur about how much he admired him and sometimes he would sneak a kiss on his forehead.

He wished he had a better excuse for not telling him other than being scared. But growing up the way he did. He knows that fears will one day haunt him. He wasn’t going to act on something if it meant losing the most important person to him.

Kenma who was pressed against Kuroo’s chest quietly exhaled, eyes half lidded as he listened to the staggered beating of his heart. Kenma liked when it was completely silent and he could listen to the sound of Kuroo’s heart. It made his cheeks flush and his lips curl into a smile. For whatever reason Kuroo was nervous. Kenma was being selfish when he cuddled closer to him and let himself fall asleep again.

He couldn’t use his powers when he was so drained. It was impossible for him to focus. When he was sleeping all he wanted was more sleep. Besides, Kuroo was sleeping too and he probably didn’t have anything to say. Kenma was asleep again, and Kuroo pressed a kiss to his forehead.

His lips felt warm. Kuroo swallowed the lump in his throat and forced himself to fall asleep again. He thanked this silence for letting him get close to someone he was usually so afraid of trapping.

They slept. Safely. Together. 


	3. somebody sometimes

Kenma woke up early on Friday. He rolled to the left until he pressed against the wall, and then to the right until his legs slipped off the bed. He opened his eyes, sitting up halfway before he flopped back onto the bed weakly. Waiting a few minutes, he sat up again and braced his hands against the mattress to keep himself up.

Kuroo must have gone to school early for volleyball practice. Kenma looked towards the window, crawling over and shoving it open. The fresh air filled his lungs quickly and he sighed happily. Even though he wasn’t a morning person, it was calm, it was if there weren’t any worries.

Slipping out of the bed Kenma halfheartedly made the bed before subconsciously walking to his uniform piled up. Kuroo knew Kenma functioned almost entirely on routine, so he took care to never change where he put things.

Kenma was fiddling with his tie when he looked at the mirror at himself. It was Friday. His mother should be back at home by the time school was over. She had been so worried at the hospital without her son by her side. Kenma tucked hair behind his ear and watched as it fell back into his face. His hair was getting a little too long. His roots were growing up.

Kenma looked down at his phone and blinked slowly. School didn’t start for another 45 minutes. If he hurried he could grab snacks from the convenience store and get to class in time. He grabbed his DS from under his pillow, closing his window and then rushing out of his room.

—

When Kenma stepped into class, he was just on time. He slipped into his seat and took out his books. Nobody talked to him as usual. He leaned against his arm, looking down at the ground. He saw shoes walk by and heard students chatting to their friends. Two years in this school and nobody had ever talked to him twice.

Kenma pressed his lips together and listened. He narrowed his eyes. Focusing harder, Kenma let out a deep breath and tuned the voices in his head.

“ _She’s so cute._ ” Kenma blinked quickly, turning in his seat just slightly to peek around the classroom. He didn’t recognize the voice. It was timid, shy. Though the tone a little rough. “ _Way too cute for someone like me, I think I’d scare her away._ ” Kenma covered his mouth with his hand, hiding a small smile as his eyes landed on a classmate with shaved sides and dyed blonde hair. His gaze was on a girl with long braids sitting at her desk talking to her two friends.

Kenma was careful with his watching, averting his gaze whenever he felt threatened and moving forward whenever he thought the teacher was coming.

“ _Talking to girls is so hard. Why can’t it be like playing sports? Or like my dumb powers?_ ” Kenma stiffened in his seat. Powers? Had he accidentally found a mutant in his own class? His fingers began to twitch, and the teacher walked into the class. He faced the front dutifully, holding a pencil in one hand and ducking behind the boy sitting in front of him.

Kenma didn’t have the courage to talk to his classmate after school. Maybe he could ask Kuroo to help him? Maybe he could make up a lie? Lying was bad he knew that. Trying to make an excuse to talk to a boy in his class? He sounded like he had a crush on him and had to pretend he didn’t know how to solve a math question. Kenma gently shook his leg, trying to get rid of his nervousness.

The only thing that distracted him from the nerve was the third year gym class being forced to run laps in the cold. It was one of the warmer days of winter, but it was still winter. He recognized a few boy's from the volleyball team, but his heart raced at the sight of Kuroo running alongside his friends with a bright smile on his face. He was probably laughing loudly at the ridiculousness of the situation, but his ability to be so relaxed made Kenma’s stomach twist.

—

Kenna didn't see Kuroo at lunch. He ate alone in the hallway while playing his DS. When he went to find Kuroo he saw him talking to some teammates at his desk, and he really didn't want to disturb them. Part of Kenma didn't want them to know he existed. He didn't like feeling watched.

Kenma ate his bread while powering through missions in his game. Since Kuroo had gifted him it, he’s completed the story on easy twice, hard once and was halfway through the masters difficulty setting. Kuroo asked him if he ever got tired of playing the same game over and over, but Kenma liked routine. He liked the art style, he liked the characters, he liked the comfort. He liked being prepared.

Kuroo said sometimes knowing what was going to happen takes the fun out of it. Knowing what's happening makes Kenma feel calm. Makes him feel in control. When he played games he forgot he was a freak of nature. He forgot he could eavesdrop on anyone's thoughts at anytime, he forgot he could ask Kuroo where he was without looking away from his DS.

Sometimes Kenma felt better just being like this. Recharging by himself in a quiet hallway, knees pulled up to his chest. He felt small, but the good kind of small. He felt hidden. Nobody could see him.

—

When the bell rang and the school day was over, Kenma slowly put his books away. He never liked being the first one out of the classroom, or being the very last one. Being somewhere in the middle was just fine. Just average. Typical. Normal.

Kenma tucked his DS into his school bag and rose from his seat. The weather was nice out, the snow had stopped falling. There was a small layer of white on the ground, nothing more than an inch. He put his backpack on and made his way out of the class, holding his cellphone in his hand.

His fingers played with the two charms hanging from his phone. An orange and a calico cat hung from the bottom of his phone. Kenma always liked the fruit and the colour orange. It was pretty, like the sun. The cat was a gift from Kuroo a long time ago. He's pretty sure he found it on the ground when they were twelve. Fiddling with things distracted him from the fear that people were looking at him.

Should he ask where Kuroo is? Kenma slid the orange against the cat. Wouldn't he be a bad friend if he didn't know where he was? Kenma let the cat fall and stroked the round surface of the orange. He’d probably look lost if he went wandering around looking for him. He held both the cat and orange in his palm.

“The gym, then?” He whispered to himself, chills going down his neck when two girls passing by peeked over at him. Clearly he wasn't quiet enough. He squeezed the charms and averted his eyes as he rushed through the hallway.

—

Kenma peeked into the gym, eyes scanning the group of boy's serving and receiving balls on either side of the net. He followed a certain ball for a moment, watching as it flew into the air and slammed against arms. Then he looked for Kuroo, and perked visibly when he spotted the black haired boy teaching a first year how to block. From his spot at the door it looked like he was scolding him, and Kenma managed to spare a smile.

He looked behind himself quickly, then in front. He looked left and right as if he was crossing the street, and sheepishly stepped into the gym. Waiting by the sidelines should be fine. Kuroo never really got angry at him for standing around. He's never told Kenma about it but having him near almost centred him.

Kenma tiptoed around the court, neatly pressed to the wall at this point. He made it halfway when his classmate spotted him across the net. Kenma was about to rush past when his classmate slid under the net and completely cornered Kenma. He shut his eyes tightly when he felt his hands grab at his shoulders and then he was being led into the storage room.

Kenma squeaked when the doors were closed and he tripped onto a pile of gym mats. He gasped as he fell on his back, the air getting knocked out of him. When the lights turned on as he tried to get up and they gave him vertigo. Kenma looked up at his classmate, who looks almost as exasperated as him.

“What the hell? What kind...of stunt is this?” Kenma had barely gotten himself up with his arms when the boy cornered him again and shushed him loudly.

“I have to make this quick, Kenma Kozume right? I’m Taketora Yamamoto, and I know that you know.” He pressed his knee against the mat and leaned close to the terrified Kenma. “You can't tell anyone because I have to look after my family and you’ll be guilty by association-”

“Wait…” Kenma pushed him back by the chest, narrowing his eyes. “You know that I know… But do… You know?” He watched as Taketora’s face went blank. His expression was still intimidated as it scrunched while he struggled to understand. They were beating around the bush quite a bit.

“Huh? I just know that you know.” Taketora crossed his arms, standing up straight again and processing the words again. “I know… What should I know?” He stroked at his chin, watching as Kenma pulled his legs up onto the mat and sat like a ‘w’. “I know you're quiet but c’mon, help me out a bit.”

“I’ll tell you if you tell me more about your thing.” Once again they tiptoed around the subject. Taketora wasn't completely sure they were talking about the same thing anymore, but he took a risk, and trusted Kenma.

“Alright, so. I kind of have amplified abilities. I’m faster than normal people, stronger, I don't get hurt easily and when I do I can just heal myself.” Taketora sat down on the mat next to Kenma, flopping down and succeeding in making Kenma physically bounce off the mat a few inches.

Kenma squeaked, cheeks warming and hands bracing at the mat. He turned eagerly to Taketora and cleared his throat. He's never met another mutant other than Kuroo. He knew everything Kuroo could do, pyrokinesis was complex but practically being unstoppable was another thing. Kenma wanted to know more.

“No kidding? That's amazing, how long have-” Kenma was cut off when Taketora clicked his tongue and nudged him with his elbow. A little hard in all honesty. Kenma rubbed at his arm before he looked at Taketora’s impatient eyes and sighed in defeat. “Ok I get it…” He folded his hands in front of him and began running at his nails with the pads of his fingers. “So I’m a telepath.”

Taketora leaned in. Too close. Kenma leaned away, nearly falling over. Taketora grinned at him, letting the long haired boy fall against his elbows and hiss in pain.

“What am I thinking right now?” Typical question. Kenma’s brow furrowed, and he scoffed while focusing on his mind. He was thinking about a lot. Kenma underestimated him. He almost thought was much as he did.

“Your mind is so fast…” He cleared his throat and relaxed his body the best he could. “You really want to get back to practice, you're going to excuse yourself early to pick up groceries, and you think…” Kenma stared at him with hard eyes. “My hair makes me look like a delinquent but a poor and defenceless one.”

“WOAH HOLY SHIT!” Taketora yelled so loud Kenma was sure the doors rattled. He threw his hands up to press them against his ears, and he fell back against the mat twice as hard as he did earlier. Kenma groaned in pain, rolling over on his side when the door flew open and curious heads poked their head in.

“Yamamoto what the hell are you-”

“Who's that?”

“Yamamoto is that a girl? Such a flirt.”

“Oh?” It was Kuroo’s voice. Kenma didn't have anywhere to hide, they saw him already. The best he could do was climb underneath a shelf but he didn't have the strength. His ears were ringing. “Kenma? Wait, what's going on here? Yamamoto I’m going to strangle you-”

“You don't even know what was happening and you're willing to _kill_ me!?” Taketora was up on his feet and Kuroo was pushing himself in the door. He grabbed him by the ear and dragged him out of the storage room.

“You expect me to believe Kenma did something wrong? Of course it's you causing trouble, ten laps for skipping practice to flirt with Kenma.” Kuroo playfully shoved Taketora into the gym and watched as he deflated. Nonetheless, the boy began to slowly jog, and Kuroo shooed away his teammates who were trying to get a better look at the infamous “best friend Kenma” they'd heard so much about.

Then Kenma and Kuroo were alone. Kuroo wandered closer to Kenma, and he instinctively inched towards the edge of the mats to stand up. Kuroo stuck his hand out and Kenma took it, letting him help him up.

“He wasn't flirting.” Kenma blurted out, fingers lingering around Kuroo’s before he dropped his hand and awkwardly wiped them against his pants. Kuroo snorted and then ruffled Kenma’s hair casually.

“I was only teasing.” He slung his arm around Kenma’s shoulder and began to lead him out of the storage room. “But what were you doing with him in here? I can't help being suspicious.” Kenma stood up a little taller, liking the way Kuroo’s arm felt around him better this way.

“He was telling me about his powers…” Kenma whispered, holding his phone in his pocket and gently touching the charms. “You knew right?” Kuroo leaned closer just to hear his words, waited a second and then nodded.

“You know I want to keep you safe.” Kuroo often justified hiding things from Kenma with this sentiment. Kenma was still deciding how he felt about it. He liked being kept safe, but he hated secrets. He liked being told the truth. Not having the whole story made him feel ignorant. Unprepared.

“I get it.” He traced his finger over the chip in the cat charms tail. Kuroo gave it to him like that. He couldn't decide if the charm was well loved or dropped a lot.

“You can play games or nap in the locker room, then we’ll walk home together okay?” Kuroo pulled away from him so they could get around the court without getting in the way. They weaved past Taketora who was steadily running around the gym, he shot a quick smile at Kenma and kept going. Kenma smiled back, then looked up at Kuroo and nodded slowly.

—

Kenma had wandered into the locker room when he checked his phone for any calls from his mother. She didn't call, but she texted. She said she had a surprise for him when he got home. He told her he was waiting for Kuroo after practice and that he'd bring him home. She sent a message that said she missed the both of them and loved him. Kenma texted back that he loved her.

Kenma found a cozy spot by Kuroo’s locker, took his tracksuit jacket and sat down against the wall. He draped the jacket over himself like a blanket and then closed his eyes. He held his phone close to him, fingers feeling warm.

—

“Are you sure your mom won’t mind me coming home with you?” Kuroo murmured as the two of them walked along the snowy path. Kenma nodded his head quickly, shoving his hands further into his pockets and shrinking a into the large scarf around his neck. It was colder than he thought.

“My mom loves you.” Kenma whispered under his breath, huffing slightly as the warm air from his mouth brushed over his face. Kuroo smiled, and he was silent for a few moments. Kenma was about to visit his mind and figure out what was bothering him, but Kuroo talked first. Maybe Kenma was that predictable.

“I don’t want to intrude on a reunion.” Kuroo tilted his head back, closing his eyes softly as the breeze nipped at his cheeks. “It’s the first time she’s seen her son in a while.”

“Kuro… come eat pie at my house.” Kenma made his way over to the older boy, bumping into him softly and grinning as Kuroo wobbled a bit.

“You’re so demanding.” Kuroo regained his balance quickly, albeit when he was six feet away from Kenma and walking on the street. As they turned the corner, Kuroo joined him on the sidewalk, and they looked up at their happy little block of houses.

Kenma narrowed his eyes, smoke? Kuroo brushed it off as a chimney at first, assuring himself that in this weather their neighbours wanted to be warm. Kenma gravitated closer to Kuroo, shoulder pressing against his arm. The more he looked, the more out of place it was. Kuroo frowned deeply. There was too much smoke for it to be a fireplace, and the smoke was too thick and black.

Before he could say anything, Kenma sprinted ahead of him on the sidewalk. Kuroo cursed under his breath, Kenma must have been so nervous he’d been listening in on his thoughts. Kenma was fast, even though he nearly tripped and got a lump of snow on his shoe.

“Kenma!” Kuroo yelled after him, running towards him who only seemed to get farther away. Kuroo’s breath caught in his throat, trying to reach out but being too far from him. It was a scene out of his nightmares. He swallowed his pride and yelled Kenma’s name again, he almost sounded angry.

Kenma didn’t hear him. He couldn’t hear anything. His heart was beating in his chest. He tried to listen for his mother’s thoughts. He couldn’t hear anything. His heart raced harder, pounding in his head and echoing throughout his mind.

Kenma slipped onto the ground right in front of Kuroo’s house. He was wiping off the snow when he caught sight of the brilliant bright light around him. Gasping, he looked up at the most terrifyingly gorgeous sight he’d ever seen.

His entire house, encompassed by giant flames. His childhood burning in flashes of orange, yellow and red. The sunset was eating his home whole. Kenma was limp for a while, his body gave in, and he couldn’t hear his heart beat in his chest again.

Kuroo caught up, and he froze. The flames were aggressive, but they were collected. It was as if they followed a map as they crawled towards his own house. It wasn’t fair. Kenma’s house was in the whirlpool of flames and his house was only beginning to set a blaze.

“Kenma.” Kuroo kneeled down beside him, hooking his arm with his and trying to help him up. Kenma didn’t want to stand. He liked the way his legs were beginning to freeze against the ground.

Kenma tried to speak, but he couldn’t get the words out. He made a rough noise, as if he was getting choked. Kuroo’s expression fell, his heart dropped, and he tried to help him up again.

“I don’t know what we’re going to do, but it’s you and me okay?” Kuroo whispered the vow, watching a tear slowly roll down Kenma’s frost kissed cheek. Kenma looked at Kuroo, eyes shaking. Kuroo saw his house suddenly burst into the flame in the reflection of Kenma’s watery eyes.

Kuroo went to turn his head to watch, but Kenma reached out and pressed his cold hand against his cheek. He forced Kuroo to look at him, and he smiled sadly.

“Your heart will break.” Kenma croaked out, a fat tear falling from his eye onto his scarf. He still couldn’t hear his mother, no matter how hard he tried he couldn’t hear her. He forced his smile, wanting Kuroo to think he was strong. “One broken heart is enough for today…”

Kuroo turned his back on the fire. He pressed Kenma’s head against his chest, forcing him to not look. Kenma’s lips quivered the moment he was hidden, and he nodded slowly against his jacket.

Fire was so beautiful. It was beautiful because Kuroo had always shown Kenma how beautiful it could be. Something so warm has broken down all he’s ever known, and all he’s ever loved. Something so comforting, was wrong.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi!! so i decided something!  
> i’ll write a new chapter when this chapter has five comments!! 
> 
> this will motivate me much more!   
> it’s easier to work knowing someone is really reading! 
> 
> hope u understand!   
> pls support me if u like this story so far!!


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